Rip-Off
Posted February 14, 2006, 9:00 AM ET

Happy Valentine's Day.

Any man will tell you that this is the biggest rip-off day in America....so enjoy it, ladies...we're counting down the days to the football season.

In addition to this ridiculous Oprah-holiday, there are other rip-offs taking place in and around the world of sports.

Let's start with the upcoming "Great American Race" in Daytona. It didn't take long for the #48 car of Jimmie Johnson to land in some hot water. It looks like crew chief Chad Knaus is up to his old bag of tricks.

Evidently, the #48 car had an illegal rear windshield that was being used during qualifying, and it means that Jimmie Johnson will start in the rear of Thursday's qualifying race. It also means that Knaus has been removed from the festivities this weekend in Daytona.

But that's nothing new to Knaus or Johnson's race team. Last March, Knaus was suspended for two races because the #48 car's roof had been tampered with following the race inspection.

You gotta love NASCAR. I'm sure Knaus and Johnson will be back up front before you know it. As I always say..."suspended with pay" should be the ultimate goal of every American worker.

If your wife or girlfriend gives you a hunting trip with Vice President Dick Cheney...then things might not be going well at the homefront....but at least she's thinking about you.

Jerry Richardson's mouth evidently works. He gave an "exclusive" to the Charlotte Observer's Pat Yasinkas during the Pro Bowl in Hawaii. From all reports, I would say that Jerry spent all of five minutes giving answers to Pat's insightful questions.

My favorite remark involved Richardson's take on the steroid cloud surrounding the team and the NFL....Jerry said:"I'm disappointed it came up in the first place, but it did. What was important to us in that was for the league, when they did their research, was we wanted to know if we had anything to do with that in any way, shape or form. When I say we, I mean anybody in our organization....The league conducted the research and there was nothing in our records that we did that we shouldn't have done. It was a thorough investigation...so that's it as far as I'm concerned about it."

Good thing that there were no Panther employees involved with the steroid issue....of course, with Panther players Jeff Mitchell, Todd Sauerbrun, Todd Steussie, Wesley Walls and Kevin Donnalley the subject of the entire investigation and case itself...it makes Jerry's point seem comical.

Speaking of the NFL and the Pro Bowl, I found it hilarious that the league's poster child and star QB, Tom Brady, was conspicuously absent from the proceedings.

You see, Brady has been playing hurt during the majority of the 2005 season. There have been many newspaper reports that he was in pain with a sport hernia and he would need surgery after the season.

Somehow, Brady mustered up enough strength and courage to make it to Detroit so he could be the "official coin-toss flipper". But it was obvious to most in attendance that the strength needed to flip the coin was going to knock him out from appearing in the Pro Bowl in Hawaii.

So instead of making the trip from Boston to Hawaii...Brady decided that the best healing agent for a sports hernia would be to make it across country to Pebble Beach and play a week of golf at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am.

Evidently a week of golf at the famous links does a sports hernia good...I'm not blaming him...I'm just jealous!

Michelle Kwan just quit....evidently she pulled her groin...doesn't she know, the only way to get over that injury is to head to Pebble Beach.

After watching a few days of the Winter Olympics, I've come to one conclusion....the "Flying Tomato" is one of the best nicknames that I've heard in quite some time. The "FT" is Shaun White, and he's the winner of the halfpipe snowboarding competition....I don't know if snowboarding is a legitimate olympic sport, but those kids put on a show.

By the way, did you know that the average male spends roughly $139 on Valentine's Day gifts...I wonder if my wife knows that it costs around $400 to play Pebble Beach?

I think I feel a sports henria coming on...I need some treatment!

Don't worry guys, this day is almost over.