Rip 'Em Up...Tear 'em Up
Posted March 24, 2013, 8:39 PM ET

The only way to describe the shape and condition of my NCAA brackets is to picture Charles Barkley with a 7-iron in his hand, attempting to hit a golf ball.

It's not pretty...in fact, it's a train-wreck....and so is the CBS basketball studio show when Barkley decides to contribute.

But let's not stop there, when it comes to Sir Charles. Has there ever been a bigger TV sports hack that covers a college sport than Barkley?

It's sad to think that CBS suits think he offers anything to a studio show other than being an ass-clown. He does no homework, doesn't know the players, doesn't watch any games....and at times has no idea of the actual location of the tourney team(s). Ask Florida Gulf Coast University.

I actually think Barkley has spent more time watching those 4 year old kids playing hoops in the driveway during that ubiquitous commercial than he has spent watching any college hoops this season.

Don't forget to throw in his over-worked, hoarse voice and his inability to pick a winner (join the club).... but once you get past that stuff, he's excellent.

CBS stands for "Charles Barkley Sucks".

It's tough to select from his best screw-ups...he has dozens to select from at the Sweet 16 mark in the Big Dance. I have to go with his description of Kansas center Jeff Withey in the Jayhawks' opener against Western Kentucky.

Barkley called him Jeff "Whitey" in the highlights....and as the producer screamed "Withey" in his ear.....Barkley regrouped and said you can call him either "Withey or Whitey"...whatever you want.

Hey, Charles.....I would say that 100% of the people that follow college hoops actually call him by his actual name. It's a unique concept; perhaps it might catch on with you before we get to the Final Four. But since he is a center and he's a white guy....if you want to call him "Whitey", then be my guest. We're laughing at you, not with you.

But as long as Shaq and other celebrities are tweeting and making fun of your "talent", then I guess the CBS suits are thrilled with the product. Who wants to breakdown the Butler-Marquette nail-biter when you can make fun of Shaq not being able to fit into a Buick or having a body double for his men's moisturizing cream?

Wow...real funny material, Charles....Hilarious. By the way, keep looking down at that blank notebook...something else will eventually pop into your empty head.

During the CBS studio presentation, I now find myself watching Greg Anthony (who is excellent and knows his stuff) and Kenny Smith (who is excellent at playing off the ass clown) as they prepare for the spew of nonsense that comes from Sir Charles. You can tell they are both cringing, knowing that they will have to cover his latest attempt at faking through another segment.

Kenny Smith claimed that Louisville's Russ Smith was playing better at the guard position than anybody in the tournament....and he asked the panel to name any player that is delivering more than Smith?

Barkley's response...."That's a little premature....there will be some guys that play later tonight and tomorrow".....now, that's insight.

Hey, Charles....can you actually name 1 player....just one, that might fall into that category?

Perhaps it's that Jeff "Whitey" guy at Kansas? Or maybe it's the guard from St. Mary's? Barkley called him Mike Villanova.....he meant Matt Dellavedova.

CBS should be embarrassed. NBC should be jealous....Barkley is a bad "Saturday Night Live" skit without the benefit of writers or the B-list host.

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The NASCAR crowd was out in California, and man did they put on a show.

I can honestly tell you that I only watched the last 5 laps, but it was incredibly entertaining.

In the end it came down to Joey Logano and Denny Hamlin....the two guys that got into it last weekend in Bristol and then on Twitter. This weekend they took their feud to an entirely new level.

The last lap wreck opened the door for Kyle Busch to win the race....and it also created a fascinating post-race interview session on FOX Sports.

You knew Hamlin was pissed, but he smashed into a concrete wall and was air-lifted to a local hospital.

Joey Logano ended up getting the last laugh on Hamlin and basically said they were "even" from last week's dust up. But before Little Joey could comment on the wreck, he was in a fight with Tony Stewart who was pissed off with the last restart because Logano blocked him from the lead.

It was hilarious.

Tony Stewart's brief interview on FOX Sports was classic stuff....he held nothing back and claimed he was going to beat Logano's rear end.....this is exactly what NASCAR needs.

Forget the ubiquitous rulebook....let the drivers show some real emotion and take the racing back to the folks who put their lives at risk each week.

I would be mistaken not to mention that in all this commotion, Danica Patrick finished the race in 26th place, only 1 lap down from the winner, Kyle Busch. Dale, Jr. is your new point leader....it only makes sense since he never wins, but he continues to pile up Top 10 finishes.

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By the time I post this entry, the PGA Tour event in Orlando at Arnold Palmer's tournament has been postponed until Monday.

Tiger Woods has the lead as he looks for his 8th win in this particular event....that's amazing, when you think about it.

He still has to close the deal on the final round to not only pick up a nice check, and some hardware....but also the title as the #1 ranked golfer in the world.

It has been quite a ride for Woods, he has retooled his swing....tried to save his image and corporate sponsors....and even announced a new sweetheart in skiing superstar Lindsey Vonn.

Picking up PGA Tour wins is all fine and good....but Tiger is looking to end his winless major streak....it really is the only one that matters at this point in his life and career.

The Masters is a few weeks away, and there is no denying that Tiger is playing better than anybody in the world....but that doesn't guarantee you squat when you get to Amen Corner on Sunday of the Masters.

The part of his game that he has improved the most is his putting. It appears that he is starting to make the 5-footers that have been haunting him the last few years. It happens to everyone that plays the game....but it gets magnified when it happens to Tiger.

I'm excited to see how March Madness plays out...but we are all lucky to witness the beauty of Augusta immediately after the final horn is sounded in Atlanta.