Summertime Blues
Posted June 22, 2008, 10:38 AM ET

I hate the heat.
I hate the summer season.
I hate that we have to endure another 7 weeks of lousy sports until we get to the football season.

Is there anything worse in sports than the months of June and July? The answer is simply "no".

To guarantee that the entire sports world comes to a screeching halt, let's throw in another Tiger Woods knee surgery for good measure to make it official. The sports world will resume its regularly scheduled fandom when we start throwing, kicking and running with the pigskin.

This weekend, I started to channel surf and could not believe how pathetically weak the sports scene is these days. Just sample a few of these "highlights":

I saw some Tony Hawk wannabe on his skateboard trying to land an energy drink sponsorship while busting his ass. I wonder if his health insurance will cover the injury...oh, that's right; he doesn't have insurance, much less a job. Forget being employed, I wonder if he is ever going to get out of the seventh grade? Next time I see that guy, I gather that he'll be asking me if I want paper or plastic?

There was a collection of Euro-soccer geeks locked into another thrilling scoreless match-up. As an American sports fan, why am I supposed to be watching, be interested or give a damn about the outcome of a match between Russia and the Netherlands? It should be mandatory that international sporting events like this garbage be shown exclusively to the countries involved with the match. And one more thing...if it is going to air in the US of A, make sure it's on around 3am. It will help all of us sleep-deprived individuals. I swear, watching three minutes of this nonsense will put you out quicker than a case of Ambien.

The golf world is officially finished until the 2009 season...or until Tiger decides to return to the Tour. The news of the severity of his knee and leg injury this week was a shocker. I actually know a few people in the media that thought he was faking it last week at the U.S. Open. His victory will go down in history as one of the most spectacular and courageous wins of all-time. Without Tiger, the British Open, PGA Championship and Ryder Cup events are just OK. The rest of the PGA Tour events are simply an afterthought. Just how many Buick Opens can we pretend to watch?

It was great to see the NASCAR boys in the Bay area....man, I can't get enough of that road racing. After watching two laps of the guys play follow the leader, I started looking for the start time of the Spain-Italy soccer match. There are a few locations on the never-ending Sprint Cup circuit that should be abolished. Anything that involves a road course is on the list, along with an extra trip to Pocono and a handful of 1 1/2 mile cookie cutters that we could do without.

How about some interleague baseball? I can't get enough of watching my San Francisco Giants battle it out with the equally inept Kansas City Royals. It looks like good seats are still available.

A preview of the NBA Draft is on the tube. I can only assume that this will be the last television assignment for both Stephen A. Smith and Ahmad Rashad until next season. So maybe, that's a good thing.

At least the College World Series games have provided some drama with the Tar Heels going yard late to keep their faint hopes alive. Plus, the "ping" of the bat makes it nearly impossible to fade away on the couch. The biggest problem with the CWS has been the constant rain delays. I can't tell you how many times I've seen UNC and Fresno State play in the past few days...it seems like they've seen each other a dozen times. Of course, I've now seen the replay of their first meeting eight times in the last three days.

The US Women's gymnastics are on the tube. The only good news about this bit of information is that it allows my little girls to take over the remote control. That gives me the ability to get out and get a life. At least somebody is happy watching sports in my house.

I think you get the picture about the dreadful funk all sports fans find themselves during the endless era known as June and July. Seriously, I can't stand this time of year. But the good news is it makes the upcoming football season that much better. There is something exciting about turning the calendar to July, knowing that the end is near. In case anybody needs a reminder, the Panthers report to camp on July 27th...add that to the college kids getting back on campus in August, and life will return to normal.

Speaking of college football, my favorite sports/legal story of the year just took place last week in a Kentucky courtroom. I couldn't make this one up if I tried.

We all know the amazing accomplishments of the Duke football program this past decade. To say that the program has struggled is being too kind. I pray for David Cutcliffe every day....he'll need it.

Well, back to the courtroom. Duke University was being sued by the University of Louisville for the amount of $450,000 for backing out of their football contract. The Blue Devils were destroyed 40-3 by the U of L back in 2002. Duke decided to bypass their contractual agreement to play the remaining three games that were scheduled for 2007, 2008 and 2009. So, Louisville sued the ACC doormat for $150,000 per game for the remaining three match-ups.

The Duke lawyers came up with one of the greatest game plans I've ever seen on or off the court. Even Coach K and Coach Cut would have been envious of their approach: The Duke lawyers argued that the football program is so sorry and pathetic, that the U of L could find any suitable replacement. How could you argue with the fact that the Blue Devil football team had managed a 6-45 record the past five football seasons?

The judge in this case was the Honorable Phillip J. Shepherd, and after hearing from both sides of the argument, he finally announced his decision:

"At oral argument, Duke persuasively asserted that this is a threshold that could not be any lower. Duke's argument on this point cannot be reasonably disputed by Louisville."

Translation...."Duke sucks".

Does this make David Cutcliffe and Duke "1-0" in 2008?