The Devil Made Me Do It
Posted August 8, 2006, 9:26 AM ET

I've got to give credit where credit is due....Duke has been one of my favorite topics since their collapse in the NCAA Basketball Tournament. No other school in the area, or in the country for that matter, has given me more fodder to discuss on the radio, television or on my blog than the egg heads from Durham.

You want to make fun of Duke, then.take your pick: J.J. Redick's DUI...the spicy lacrosse scandal...Athletic Director Joe Alleva's boat accident, or starting QB Zack Asack being suspended for plagiarism. The Blue Devils have been spreading the wealth in stupidity and embarrassing moments during the dog days of summer...and it involves everyone from administrators, star football and basketball players, and even non-revenue sports.

Now, just when you thought they ran out of material, Duke has produced another beauty.

Listen carefully, I'm not making this up...Duke is offering free football tickets for their season opener against Richmond. That's right, the brilliant minds at Duke have determined that if you want to see the Blue Devils on the gridiron, there's no need to pay.

The school has decided to target alums and any other group that is bored to tears to come check out Duke football for free. I bet that Duke's only football season ticket holder is outraged...That guy should demand his money back. The school should send his twenty dollars back immediately.

Jon Jackson, an administrative suit, was quoted in the Charlotte Observer as stating, "We've got to get some people into the game, first and foremost, to create the atmosphere we want for our team." That's funny.

I have an idea for Duke football: create a portable basketball court and place it in the closed end endzone at Wallace Wade Outdoor Stadium. Coach K can conduct the Blue-White game every Saturday and the place will be packed. Plus, Coach K and his talented all-stars won't have to be worried about being disturbed since the football team won't find the endzone all day long.

Back to the Duke football promotion. One of the ideas that the brainiacs at Duke have created to drum up interest involves NASCAR. That's right, NASCAR. Nothing goes better with an afternoon of Blue Devil football than to incorporate the good ol' boys of the Nextel Cup Series. I've got a bunch of good ol' boys talking restrictor plates, and a bunch of folks who posted a 1600 on the SAT discussing their nuclear physics test....perfect match.

Duke has decided to bring Dale Jarrett's car to Wallace Wade Outdoor for display and also give away tickets to the races. That's a good idea...let me give you some tickets to another sporting event so you can stay as far away from Durham as possible on gameday. Brilliant.

But the decision to pick Dale Jarrett is what makes this promotion so funny. Dale Jarrett is currently 24th in the point standings in the Chase for the Cup. Duke picked the wrong "Dale"...Dale Earnhardt, Jr. would have been a much better and popular pick to draw in the NASCAR crowd. Plus, Dale Jarrett is a self-confessed UNC fan. You will even spot Jarrett at the Smith Center taking in a Tar Heel basketball game from time-to-time. He loves his Tar Heels.

Do the folks in Durham have a clue? If they wanted a NASCAR-themed promotion to draw fans to their football game, how about asking the biggest NASCAR/Duke fan to participate? His name is Jeff Burton....he is currently third in the points race and he is a legitimate Blue Devil fan. He is the only Duke fan in NASCAR. Hey, Duke...if you would like, I'd be more than happy to make a call to Burton and see if he would help out.

Duke continues to make my life easier...and I really appreciate it. The only thing funnier than watching the Dukies in the off-season, is to watch the Blue Devils during the football season.