"Alex, I'll Take 'Watching Paint Dry' For a Hundred, Please"
Posted August 29, 2010, 6:43 PM ET

After watching the Carolina Panthers attempt to complete a forward pass and pick up a first down Saturday night, all I could think about is apologizing to all the World Cup soccer fans for calling their sport boring.

My God, it's going to be painful watching this team this year, if they can't pick up the tempo and at least pretend they play in the NFL.

While the offense looks anemic, the defense gets me excited.....those guys are playing lights-out and flying around the football. If you would have told me that the Panthers' defense would be this dominant after the all the changes from a year ago, I would have called you crazy.

The defense looks fantastic, and the Greg Hardy pick in the Draft looks like one of Fox/Hurney's best selections in years. I was nervous about moving Beason after the first game, but the All-Pro LB is proving that he can make plays from anywhere on the field.

What is there not to like about the way these guys are playing? The other aspect of this unit that has been great is that they are getting terrific production from everybody.....I really like what I see so far from Ron Meeks' squad.

For all the accolades coming their way, the offense remains a mystery. Don't bother telling me about Steve Smith's absence....I know he'll be back in the starting line-up against the NY Giants in week one. He'll also have two Big Blue defenders attached to his hip when he gets off the team plane.

I know Jonathan Stewart will be back, too....he and DeAngelo form a nasty tandem in the backfield. I also know that Jeff Otah should be back to help anchor a solid offensive line. Maybe the Panthers can run the ball 60 times a game and resort to the glory days of Oklahoma and Nebraska of the 1970's?

With all that said, why has it been impossible for the Panthers to find the end zone when they have the ball?

30 points in the first three pre-season games doesn't bode well for the regular season....the first-teamers need some momentum heading into the season opener. No other team in the NFL has been this lame on the offensive side of the ball in the month of August.

I suspect the final pre-season walk-through against the Steelers on Thursday night will offer very little.....so we'll just have to wait and see what shows up in the Jersey swamp in week one of the NFL season.

A couple of more items from Saturday night....Dwayne Jarrett continues to prove my point every time he puts on a Panthers jersey. In a job that is open for the taking, the All-Pro practice player had one catch for 5 yards. While some local sportswriters will continue to tell you that he's only 23 years old, I'll continue to tell you that the four-year NFL player needs to be cut.

I was also surprised that John Fox had seen enough of Armanti Edwards' attempt to field a punt after one period of football....he was replaced (or is it displaced?) by fellow rookie Trent Guy. Based on Saturday's results, I can't imagine Edwards being in the mix for the job....Guy actually caught the football.

All-in-all, it was another mixed bag for Carolina.....the defense has been great, the offense has been awful....but the good news is that the Panthers won their first pre-season game since August of 2008.

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I'm not necessarily a big fan of MMA, but I acknowledge the sport has a loyal following and continues to increase in popularity.

Of course, the sport is winning the battle against boxing because it appeals to a younger demo, the combatants actually deliver action when they fight, and boxing is so bad (especially the heavyweight division) that the MMA crowd is taking over by default.

This past weekend, another washed-up boxing heavyweight decided to take on the mighty MMA. This time, it was bloated whale James Toney to the rescue. I can't remember the last time Toney was relevant in boxing, much less a factor to take on a pro of the MMA.

Toney claimed last week before the fight that he was the only two-sport superstar this century......who knew he had one sport to his credit? He determined that he would teach bad-ass Randy Couture a thing or two about boxing, when they met up in the octagon. One punch would be enough to take care of Couture.

Needless to say, it didn't end well for the ancient boxing warrior. He never landed a single punch, and eventually tapped out in just over three minutes. It was another loss in the forgettable career of James Toney.

It also gave the MMA crowd another reason to mock and ridicule the boxing world. Maybe Dana White and the MMA suits could line up a match with Evander Holyfield or Gerry Cooney? The Vaudeville act is still alive in Vegas.

It was also apparent that anybody who doesn't respect what the MMA guys can do in the octagon is asking to to be embarrassed and seriously hurt. Just ask James Toney.

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Things keep getting uglier in Chapel Hill.

First it was a party in Miami, followed by agents, then players acknowledging they received airline tickets and other benefits, and now it's Nanny-gate.

The NCAA investigators have found Chapel Hill to be a lovely place to visit, and apparently, they don't plan to leave anytime soon.

As we get ready to kick-off another college football season, the mood in Chapel Hill has done a 180 degree turn before we kick the pig. Huge expectations of a breakthrough season have been replaced by embarrassment of a potential academic scandal and seedy dealings with agent(s).

The issue has become so serious, that the school was forced to conduct a press conference involving Butch Davis, AD Dick Baddour and Chancellor Holden Thorp. The gentlemen all sat together at the presser, and I'm not sure there was much eye-contact....to say the room was "cold" would be an understatement.

Until the NCAA, along with the institution, announce their findings, there will be wide-spread speculation....but UNC has only itself to blame for this one. I guess we'll get a better feel for the Tar Heels' problems when the team shows up in ATL to play LSU. There will be more interest in which players don't play, as opposed to the guys that do dress out for the ACC-SEC showdown.

I can see UNC dealing with the issues and potential penalties involving agents, but there will be absolutely no tolerance for academic fraud. The school, to their credit, has the reputation of their academic standing as priority one, and if there turns out to be a widespread problem of cheating and fraud (e.g. FSU, a few years ago), then there will be hell to pay on the Chapel Hill campus.

Butch Davis and his former nanny have some explaining to do.

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I had the chance to speak with country superstar Kenny Chesney on my radio show, last week. He was very entertaining, and he's also fired up over his latest project...."The Boys of Fall".

It is a 60 minute documentary on the passion of high school, college, and professional football and it includes interviews with greats such as Brett Favre, Nick Saban, Joe Namath, Bill Parcells and many others. The project debuted on ESPN Sunday afternoon, and I'm sure it will be shown a few more times in the near future.

(Note: as of this blog entry, the show is scheduled to run again 9/16 at 1:00 AM on ESPN2, and 10/14 at 3:00 PM on ESPNU.)

I highly suggest you check it out.....and if you want to hear the interview with Kenny Chesney, you can check it out on the AAA Podcast of our August 26th edition of the "Southern Fried Football™ Show" at www.southernfriedfootball.com.

I need to remind everyone that the Southern Fried Football™ Tour hits the road on Saturday at Catawba. We'll be set up between the gym and the stadium.....you can't miss us. Be sure to stop by and load up on all the free gifts from our sponsors: AAA, Budweiser, Tom's Snacks, Eckrich Meats, Kangaroo Express, House-Autry, Bojangles', Champion Athleticwear and Tom Johnson Camping Center.

Kirk Herbstreit of ESPN / ABC begins his weekly appearances on "PrimeTime with the Packman" this Tuesday at 5pm, and the replay of the interview during Thursday's "Southern Fried Football™ Show".