Stinking Up The Joint
Posted September 24, 2006, 8:16 PM ET

We suck.

The United States of America is producing nothing but self-centered, overpaid athletes who are completely clueless when it comes to the concept of "team".

Once again, the arrogance of the PGA Tour elite was on display for all the world to see during the Ryder Cup. It doesn't take much to get me started on the jackasses on the Professional Gutless Association. But watching the Americans get butchered by the Europeans over the weekend at the K Club is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. For the record: the leaderboard shows it 18 1/2 for Europe and a distant 9 1/2 for the Red, White and certainly Blue.

Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Jim Furyk and David Toms...all great players, all of them "the face of the PGA Tour", were beaten up by the lesser-talented Euros. So, what else is new? The Euros have now won three consecutive Ryder Cups for the first time ever and they've now captured five of the last six Ryder Cups.

One of my favorite punching bags, Phil Mickelson, has been lost on my radar for the past few years because he finally won a major or two. But his performance in the last two Ryder Cups has been nothing short of pathetic. Ol' Lefty was impressive in Ireland; he played in 5 matches and posted a spectacular 0-4-1 record. That bodes well, since he now has a record of 1-9-1 in his last 11 Cup matches. I wonder if he knows the odds of that performance? I wonder if he placed a few bets while he was across the pond? (...And if he did, I hope he loaded up on the Europeans.)

One of my other favorite jerks from the PGA Tour shouldn't be talking, either...David Toms also produced a great 0-3-1 record this week. Good playing, boys. Screw that Ryder Cup anyhow, it doesn't pay nearly as much as another Top 10 finish in one of those Buick Opens.

The US of A has no concept of "team"....especially on the international sports scene. It goes much deeper than the Ryder Cup fiasco....just look around.

We used to be the best basketball country on the planet. I know Kevin Garnett and LeBronze James make hundreds of millions of bucks and they are promoted globally...but they haven't won squat. By the way, LeBronze, the new shoe commercial looks sweeeeet! We all know that if you guys really tried, you would have finally figured out how to stop that pick-n-roll that Greece laid on you in the semifinal game.

Coach K took his NBA All-Stars to the World Basketball Championships and we came home with the bronze. Nice job.

Even the women saw their 50+ game winning streak snapped last week and they matched Coach K's bronze with one of their own.

Over the weekend, Andy Roddick lost and so did Team USA in the Davis Cup. So much for that run....plus, we all know Russia has better tennis players than we do here in the States.

How about baseball? You know it's our national pastime. Hell, we can't even qualify for the Olympics, and don't get me started about how weak we were in the World Baseball Championships.

Soccer, anyone? Oh, I forgot...we're the USA.

Thank goodness nobody else in the world takes this "professional football" seriously. We can all enjoy the NFL before the world takes notice...the NFL is the only sport that we follow in this country that matters. The reason for that is because it is the only sport that we dominate worldwide.

So, let the Europeans enjoy the Davis Cup, Ryder Cup and the World Cup. The Carolina Panthers have finally won a game, and they are hosting N'awlins this weekend. And in this country, that's all that matters.